Welcome to this edition of Mentoring Moments. Over the years the mentoring discussions with my mentees have revealed such brilliant insights and methods which continue to hone our coaching skills to deliver a higher quality of coaching excellence for our clients. Mentoring emerging or experienced coaches towards their credential or for ongoing development is my absolute favourite component of my coaching practice. So, I’d love to share with you some of those little gems of gold in upcoming editions. 

Coaching the Judge Saboteur – Holiday Edition

As coaches, we spend much of the year holding space for others, inviting awareness and partnering for growth. December offers a unique opportunity to turn the lens inward and coach ourselves. And what better target than our ever-present inner Judge? You know the one—it comments on how you’re not doing enough, not keeping up, or not being ‘festive’ in the right way. The Judge can take the sparkle out of the season if left unchecked.

Spotting the Judge in Holiday Mode 

The Judge is an equal-opportunity critic. It may show up when you notice the neighbour’s immaculate Christmas lights, when you glance at your to-do list, or when you second-guess whether buying gift cards is ‘lazy.’ In coaching terms, this is about awareness. The PCC Markers invite us to notice shifts in energy and emotions (6.2–6.4), and we can apply the same lens to ourselves. Pause and ask: What is my Judge saying right now, and what impact is it having on me?

Coaching Ourselves with Curiosity

Instead of battling the Judge, approach it with the same curiosity you would offer a client. This aligns with 5.4: Demonstrating curiosity about the whole person, and 7.2: Asking questions that evoke awareness. Try asking yourself:

• What’s the truth behind this judgment?
• What would be a more compassionate perspective?
• How can I choose presence over perfection?

By stepping back, you shift from self-criticism to self-coaching.

Lighten the Season, Lighten the Voice

Humour is a powerful antidote to the Judge. If it tells you the dessert isn’t ‘homemade enough,’ you might thank it politely for its opinion and then ask: And how exactly do you feel about pavlova bought from the bakery down the road? This injects levity and breaks the Judge’s hold. The PCC Markers remind us to remain spacious and flexible (5.5). These are guidelines we can apply to our own self-talk.

Designing Holiday Practices

Just as we co-create action plans with clients (8.5–8.7), we can design practices for ourselves. 

For example:

• Micro-pauses: Before gatherings, pause for three breaths and choose an intention—joy, ease, or simply fun.
• Judge spotting: Write down one judgemental thought each day, then reframe it as something positive: find the hidden gift, opportunity, or moment to find humour.
• Celebrate small wins: Whether it’s surviving the shopping centre or choosing rest over another event, acknowledge it.

These practices aren’t about perfect holidays; they’re about reclaiming presence and lightness.

As you move through this season, notice where your Judge is loudest and choose one way to coach yourself differently. Remember, the PCC Markers point us to awareness, presence and co-design… skills just as vital when turned inward. By practising on ourselves, we stay grounded and refreshed for our clients in the new year.

Thank you for journeying with me through this year of Mentoring Moments. May your holidays be filled with laughter, rest, and just the right amount of pavlova (homemade or not). Wishing you joy, connection and lightness as you step into the year ahead.

Sharing these mentoring moments with you,

Gaye